I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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