Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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