I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
