dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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