i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
3pm strippers are depressing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
