Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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