she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
