whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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