Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
