Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
