i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
