I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
