my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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