we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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