Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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