So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
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surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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