I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
