My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
