Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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