its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
