I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
