Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just found a bag of teeth...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
