take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize