Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
