shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
