I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
