Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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