Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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