paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
