She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
