Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
