I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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