period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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