It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
