so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
