Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
