I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
