Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
These tits shall not be calmed
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