If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
