then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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