i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
