Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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