What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
