k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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