Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
