does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
