I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
