My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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