Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
