And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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