Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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