Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Enjoy the penises
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
