"it" just moved
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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