did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
