so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
