Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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