there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So apparently I’m into choking now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
