this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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