thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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