i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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