I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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