I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
third nipple confirmed
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
