I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
